FOUND IN ACTUAL PUBLIC BATHROOMS!!!!!!
Those who write upon these walls
Roll their shit in little balls.
Those who read these words of wit
can eat those little balls of shit

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if its yellow, let it mellow,
if its brown, fluch it down.

OH MY GODDDD!!!!!

the dance sucked

There was almost nobody there.
i had to drink coke (3 cans) to entertain myself
dont try it; its alot like drugs- you feel happy then shitty then happy
slept over at manavs house
lost my keys
watched andy hempton light his arm on fire and flail around
had to put it out with a towel
(dont worry hes not hurt he did it purposely)

INSTRUCTIONS::::
1. soak your entire arm in OFF anti-mosquito spray
2.prepare a wet or damp towel and a friend willing to be responsible for your life
3.take a lighter and light your arm
4. it will ignite and get all over you
5. flail and scream to add effect (if you have spectators)
6. have that brave friend of yours wipe you down

by the way it doesnt hurt it just feels weird -- your arm hair doesnt even singe

Barney song::

he does dope,
we do crack,
he lubricates 'is balls wid soap
wit' a baseball bat, and massive smg,
lets chase ba'ney oop a tree.

!!! i lost my keys!!! again !!! damn!!!
that just pisses me off

sorry guys i missed TWO days

ill give you guys some extra jokes...

LAST REQUEST

Father O'Grady was saying his good-byes to the parishioners after his Sunday morning service as he always does when Mary Clancey came up to him in tears.
"What's bothering you, dear?" asked Farther O'Grady.

"Oh, father, I've got terrible news." Replied Mary. "My husband passed away last night."

"Oh, Mary!" said the good father. "That's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?"

"Yes...," Mary replied sheepishly.

"Well?"

"He said, 'Please, Mary, put down the gun.'"

NURSING HOME

One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leave her, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden. She seems OK, but after a while she slowly starts to fall over sideways in her chair.

Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up. Again she seems OK, but after a while she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright. This goes on all morning.

Later the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting to her new home.

They ask,"So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?"

"It's pretty nice," she replies. "Except they won't let you fart."

Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.

today was sogay

at least i found my science textbook- if anybody reads this (which is not likely) look out for my vocab book, goddammit!

heres the joke

The Gay Jew

There were once three brothers that all wanted to convert and become jewish. They traveled to the middle east and met a jewish preist. The priest said: to become jewish, you must pass one test. The test is that you must watch a woman strip without getting an erection. The first and oldest brother went up, and as soon as the woman started to strip, he got an erection. The preist said: you have failed the test. go take a shower. The second brother, the middle aged one, went up, and managed to keep the snake in the cage a little longer. however, when the woman started dancing, he got a boner. The priest told the youngest of the three to step up. he did, and did not get a boner for the whole preformance. very good said the priest. now go take a shower with your brothers. at the mention of this, the young one managed to attain an erection.

if you didnt get that try this one:

A man went into a pharmacy and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. The woman he was talking to said that she was the pharmacist and that she and her sister owned the store, so there were no males employed there.
She then asked if there was something she could help the gentleman with.
The man said "this is embarrassing for me, but I have a permanent erection which causes me a lot of problems and severe embarrassment. I was wondering what you could give me for it?"
The pharmacist said "Just a minute, I'll go talk to my sister."
When she returned, she said, "The best we can do is 1/3 ownership in the store and $5000 in cash.